


Begin Again

by Stillreadingfanfictbh



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Assistant Niall Horan, Hurt/Comfort, Journalist Louis, M/M, Model Harry, Unrequited Love, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:27:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25043137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stillreadingfanfictbh/pseuds/Stillreadingfanfictbh
Summary: louis leaves harry with a broken heart and a letter, years later they stumble upon each other.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**may 19th, 2015 ******

********

there harry was again, picking louis up from a bar at three in the morning in his pajamas. harry was asleep when louis called him; he has louis ringtone volume turned up just so he can wake up to take louis' call. louis had his head against the window muttering something about how sorry that harry had to pick him up _again _.__

____

****

__

harry try's his best to reassure louis that it's really no big deal, but he knows, as always, that it's for nothing. harry would gladly pick him up every night for the rest of his life if it meant that louis would be safe. harry knows how to take care of drunk louis, and the thought of someone else taking care of him sets harry off. even the smallest of things make louis throw a fit, harry knows just what to avoid around drunk louis, he's had years of experience.

__

****

__

harry drags louis up to his apartment, louis is capable of walking by himself but harry knows well enough that his stairs are too steep and hard to climb for normal louis let alone drunk louis. when they get into the apartment, the first thing harry does is start a kettle. the tea makes louis more aware and gives him less of a headache in the morning. harry has made it a habit to give louis tea every time he has to pick louis up.

__

****

__

harry takes louis to the couch and takes off his shoes and socks, louis hates to sleep in socks. harry grabs a damp washcloth and rubs it around louis face, louis hates to feel grimy in the morning, especially on his face. harry pulls at louis jeans and takes them off for him; then he takes off louis shirt, which had a wet spot on it. harry runs to his room to grab a hoodie, louis says he likes the smell of harry, that it makes him fall asleep. he slips the hoodie over louis head.

__

****

__

harry hears the kettle steaming and walks to the kitchen, he rubs his eyes tiredly and gets out louis' blue mug. harry grabs uncaffeinated camomile tea and puts two teaspoons of sugar and a teaspoon of honey in it. while harry is letting it steep he peeks into the living room to see louis with his knees pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. louis head is resting on his knees and he is staring blankly at the wall. harry knows, just from his look, what louis is thinking.

__

****

__

harry sighs and grabs the mug to bring to louis, he sits next to louis and hands him the mug, he knows that in a few minutes louis will be more sober than he has been in the last couple of hours.

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****

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"i'm a piece of shit." louis mumbles into his mug, "i do this to you time and time again. wouldn't be surprised if next time you just didn't pick me up."

__

****

__

"i will always pick you up, lou." Harry says quietly. he lays a hand on louis knee.

__

****

__

"i know." louis says, "but it's not right, what i do to you. i make you feel like shit."

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****

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"you don't, lou." harry assures, "i love every minutes i spend with you, good or bad."

__

****

__

"i hate it when you say shit like that." louis mumbles, gripping tightly onto his mug. louis pauses for a long while before saying, "you love me."

__

****

__

harry nods. he regrets telling louis that he had fallen in love with him. harry knew that he would react badly, but he was too selfish to keep it to himself. since that day, two months ago, when harry told louis his feelings, nothing has been the same yet everything has been the same.

__

****

__

louis and harry still do their daily runs and saturday brunches together, they still hang out every chance they get, but something has shifted. louis doesn't touch harry as much as he used to, louis doesn't stay over at harry's anymore, and louis has been getting drunk off his ass for three saturday's straight.

__

****

__

harry has known for years that he was in love with his best friend, harry also knows that louis will never return the feeling. harry has had enough time to grasp the situation and understand that the feelings will never be returned. harry has learned to live with the sharp feeling he gets in his chest when louis talks about his latest fucks and past girlfriends. falling in love with louis isn't something recent.

__

****

__

louis doesn't understand, he doesn't understand how he never noticed before that harry is in love with him. now that it's out in the open it's so blatantly obvious. the was harry clings to louis bicep when they are together is only something someone would do if they liked the person. harry gives louis the most sentimental gifts and says things like "i would give you the world if you wanted it." louis feels utterly stupid now that he thinks about it. the things harry says and does with him aren't always bro-man type things.

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****

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"i don't love you." louis says, he's still a little drunk, his hands are shaking, "i wish i could love you like you love me but i can't."

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****

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harry sighs, he wants to yell at louis, scream at him _i know! stop reminding me because every time you remind me it's a shot in the heart and i'm not sure how much i can handle. _instead harry settles with a simple, "okay."__

_____ _

****

_____ _

harrys hand is still on louis knee. he knows it shouldn't be there but he can't take it off, harry loves the feeling of louis, loves touching louis. he is selfish for leaving his hand there. selfish for wanting louis.

_____ _

****

_____ _

"i won't do this to you anymore, haz." louis says with determination. right now harry isn't sure if he is still completely drunk or just a little tipsy.

_____ _

****

_____ _

"you cry a lot." louis says, "don't pretend i don't notice, because i do. you have been more sad these last two months than you have been in years and it's because of me."

_____ _

****

_____ _

"you need to go to sleep, louis." harry says bitterly. harry doesn't need louis to tell him what is good or bad for his well being.

_____ _

****

_____ _

louis nods and finishes his tea, harry grabs a blanket from a compartment under the sofa and gives it to louis. harry makes sure louis is comfortable on the couch before he goes to his own bedroom, where he was before louis disturbed him in the first place.

_____ _

****

_____ _

-

_____ _

****

_____ _

_harry,_

_____ _

****

_____ _

_i would like to start this letter off with i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i made you fall in love with me and i'm sorry that i don't love you back. in that way, at least._

_____ _

****

_____ _

_i do love you, you've been my best friend since we were sixteen. i honestly don't know where or who i would be without you and i'm glad that you have supported me through everything. i would like to say that i support you too, and i did, until now._

_____ _

****

_____ _

_i can't support you and continue to be your friend, not when i make you miserable all the time. it kills me to know that i'm the one that puts you through this pain and i can't stand to hurt you anymore. so i'm leaving, i have a new job in new york writing for a fashion magazine. honestly, i'm so excited for this job and i'm glad that i'm taking this opportunity._

_____ _

****

_____ _

_please don't be sad and hung up on me, i'm not worth any of your tears or heartache. by the time you read this i should be heading to the airport. don't try to find me or contact me._

_____ _

****

_____ _

_i'm sorry for being selfish and leaving on such short notice and not giving you a proper goodbye but i'm not sure i could bear a goodbye._

_____ _

****

_____ _

_maybe in different times we will meet again, but until then all you will have is this note._

_____ _

****

_____ _

_with love,  
louis. ___

_____ _

****

_____ _


	2. Chapter 2

**saturday night  
july 12th, 2017 ******

********

harry struts confidently down the runway, his hands lay comfortably in his pockets and he poses at the end before turning and walking back.

********

no matter how many times he does it, harry still gets a small rush of adrenaline. after every show harry just sits and takes a second to realize, wow i'm a model; and wow, people (big, major people) want me to model for them.

********

today's show was gucci and it's his second year at gucci's annual runway. usually the runway is in florence, but their head quarters had burnt down in march leaving the show at a run-down runway in the middle of new york. harry try's to avoid new york as much as he can, but this show was obviously unavoidable.

********

harry walks two more times before the finale. once the show ends everyone is scattered about, getting changed and cleaning up.

********

"haz," harry hears someone say behind him, "are you coming to the after party?"

********

harry turns around and nods at lia. "yeah, i'm just gonna wash up real quick. meet you there?"

********

"actually, i was hoping we could go together. my assistant forgot to get me a ride and i personally don't feel like calling an uber. was hoping you'd let me tag along?"

********

harry nods and looks down at the hot pink sweater he wore down the run-way before saying, "definitely, i will be back in, like, five minutes. i'm not going to a party wearing this."

********

-

********

the party is classier than most of the after parties he goes to. the only drinks that seem to be around is champagne and frilly fruit drinks. not that harry minds, he's always been one for classy drinks anyways. lia, on the other hand, groans "i, just wanted to get pissed to be honest."

********

harry laughs a little and sips on the raspberry cosmopolitan he asked for. "come on, lia give your liver a break. you can be sober and have fun at the same time."

********

lia huffs but says with a small smile, "yeah yeah, i'm gonna go hit up that new male model. allessa said he's straight. wish me luck."

********

"good luck!" harry calls to her. she walks away and wiggles her hips exaggeratedly.

********

harry sits at the bar alone for only a couple minutes before he stands up to walk around and greet people. harry makes conversation for an hour or two before he grows bored of it and goes back to his hotel room.

********

harry is only a small bit disappointed with how the night turned out. he was hoping he could have at least had a couple laughs that weren't fake, maybe make a few more friends.

********

not that it matters, harry is in new york for business, not to make friends. since harry isn't in new york often, he try's to schedule all his new york based meetings at one time. harry is in new york until wednesday, four full days from now.

********

harry's schedule is busy; he has a meeting with sephora and j.c. penny; he also has four interviews, one of which is supposed to last two hours. he even has three photo shoots, which last for hours on end. he isn't sure how his assistant stuffed it all in four days, but he doesn't question it and just follows the schedule he's given.

********

harry gets ready for bed as soon as he can. he doesn't want to waste any time because, honestly, the only thing he can think about is sleep.

********

-  
**sunday morning  
july 13th, 2017 ******

********

********

****

_**the bee's ni: **sephora meeting in an hour!! meet me in the lobby in 45 minutes. __****_

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry sighs and rubs his face before crawling out of bed to get ready. the text was from his assistant, niall, who also happens to be one of his best friends. after that day four years ago harry cut ties from all of his friends and decided to start new, he moved to the middle of london where he started seriously modeling.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry brushes his teeth and does regular morning stuff before he slips on a quirky pair of boot cut floral jeans and a tucked in white shirt. harry gels his hair to be the perfect style and admires himself in the mirror. harry prides himself on his ability to dress himself; many models, or well off people in general, have their own wardrobe assistant. harry would never have someone dress him like a child, he prefers to dress himself.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

because of this harry's fashion sense is unique. he mixes and matches styles and brands to create his own personal style, which gets criticized just as much as it gets admired. harry handles criticism well though, and doesn't let it get to him.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

at 7:35 harry makes his way to the lobby. on his way there he calls his mom, who had just gotten home from tea with one of her friends. he doesn't ask what friend, because he already knows who it is.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry and louis moms have been friends for forever and even after louis and harry had their falling out they continued to stay friends. harry knows that if he asks about their weekly tea he will get a lecture about how it's been over four years and he should try to contact louis. to prevent from such lecture harry cuts the conversation short with a "i'll call you again tomorrow, mom."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

another thing harry prides himself on is his relationship with his family; unlike many in the industry, harry doesn't let his busy life stop him from talking to and being with his family. harry calls his mom everyday, and facetimes his sister at least twice a week.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

niall greets harry in the lobby and leads him out to the car.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"was that your mum?" niall asks, jumping into the seat next to harry.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry nods, "yeah, she just got done with her weekly tea."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

niall nods, even he knows who harrys mom has tea with. niall knows everything about harry's life, even what harrys life was like before harry met him.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

they get to sephora headquarters in ten minutes, where niall and harry are led to a small conference room. inside the room are two people, a man and a woman.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry gives them a bright smile and sits in the chair in front of the woman.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"so we have a few things to discuss, one of them is if you will consider modeling for us."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry nods immediately, he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to model for them.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"oh, so we don't have to, like, convince you or anything?" the lady says with a hint of shock in her voice.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry laughs and says, "honestly, i love your stores. the products you carry are great and one of my good friends has a contract with you, she says you're a good company. you don't have to persuade me."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

the lady nods and pulls some papers out of a folder, "well this is a modeling contract for us. it usually consist of modeling for our monthly magazines and simple things like that. we usually only need you too meet up with us once a month for a shoot. the contract basically says that you will work with us for a year at which point you can renew your contract. it's nothing special but i assume that you will have someone look over it before you sign it. you can send it to us once you have it signed. we won't be too pushy."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry nods and takes the contract, he doesn't look over it before handing it to niall, who will probably fax it to harry's legal director later.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"alright then," the lady says with a sigh, "jeff here has the second order of business."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry turns to jeff with raised eyebrows.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"right, so we are teaming up with a few companies to put together an anti-bullying campaign. our part of business is to defeat gender norms within makeup and hair. uh, so we just wanted you to speak for our campaign at the teenstogether tour we are doing. if you are willing, you would be perfect."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry smiles and nods, "i would definitely be interested. when will the tour be?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"next year," jeff says, "in the mean time we would love to raise awareness for the tour. maybe you could mention it in some interviews or post about it on the media or something."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"definitely. is this the contract for it?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

jeff nods, and hands it to harry who, again, hands it to niall. the four people sit together for another twenty minutes discussing with harry what working with them entails.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"alright, haz." niall says, "we are mixing up our schedule a little so we could add in your first sephora photo shoot. so if we do the shoot now then you can do the allure magazine interview tomorrow morning before the j.c. penny meeting."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry groans, walking beside niall to another floor where the shoot it. "isn't the allure interview the long one?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

niall nods, "yeah, you will have to wake up earlier, but it's better than staying here longer, yeah?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry nods, he gets dragged around for an hour. people put make-up on his face then they take a couple photos, take off the make-up, then do it again. by the end of it Harry feels raw and exhausted.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

-

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"babe." harry says into the phone, "are you still in new york?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"yeah," cara replies, cara is another one of harrys good friends whenever they have free time they try to hang out, "you're here?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry laughs at the excitement in her voice, "yeah, can i come over to yours after this shoot?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"of course, it's sunday, i don't work today anyways." she says happily, "do you plan on just hanging or do want to go out for dinner?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

harry hums in thought, "i think i just feel like staying in tonight, is that okay?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"of course, haz. i just wanna spend a gossip night with you anyways." cara explains, "what time is the shoot over with?"

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"about an hour, i think. so i will see you around four. i'll have my driver get me to your house." harry says, changing into a shirt that he was given.

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

"see you then, haz."

**_****__** ** _ **

********

**_****__** ** _ **

-  
**sunday night  
july 13th, 2017 ******

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

"kendall did what?" harry exclaims with a loud laugh.

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

"she literally fucking grabbed his dick, and it's not like she did it on purpose she just laid her hand down down and there was a dick. neither of them knew how to react so she kinda just got up and walked away." cara takes another sip of her beer and takes a bite of her salad then says with a full mouth, "she is still, like, traumatized over it."

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

"i mean i've accidentally touched a couple dicks in my life time too." harry giggles.

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

"yeah," cara says using her fingers as quotation marks, "'accidentally'"

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

harry rolls his eyes.

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

cara and harry banter like that for a couple hours before harry goes back to his hotel. he gives cara a long hug promising that he will see her again soon.

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **

********

**_****_******** _ ** ** _ **


	3. Chapter 3

**monday morning  
july 14th, 2017 ******

********

"get up!" niall exclaims bolting into the room, "fucking he- i forgot to set an alarm and i didn't text you the right time and you only have ten minutes to get ready."

****

harry groans but gets out of bed quickly, he runs to the bathroom and gets ready as quickly as possible. harry slips on a pair of light, faded skinny jeans and a loose black sheer shirt.

****

harry is still tying the strings on his shirt when niall drags him out of the hotel room, through the lobby, and into the car.

****

the ride is only a couple of minutes, niall taps his foot in nervousness. he hates being late and it makes him anxious any time he is late.

****

"alright so we will run in there real quick and i will make sure you are ready for the interview then i will go get you some breakfast."

****

"you don't have to, ni." harry says, "i can wait until after the interview to eat."

****

"haz, as your assistant, and your best friend, i must feed you." niall says, he walks to the front desk and the lady leads harry to a small comfortable room where the interview will take place.

****

niall gives harry a quick peck on the cheek before quickly leaving the room to get some breakfast.

****

harry sits in the room alone for a few minutes. the room is comfortable, there are bean bag chairs on the floor and a desk in the corner. a random cell phone is left on the desk next to a folder.

****

harry hears a deep voice outside the door, he seems to be talking to a few people.

****

harry is looking at the door in confusion when four people walk through the door. he was only expecting one person.

****

a familiar voice drags his eyes from the four people to a fifth person who walked through the room.

****

"harry." the voice breaths out. harry stiffens immediately. and for some reason all harry can think is _this is why i don't fucking come to new york. ___

**____ **

"louis?" harry's voice comes out as a question. he didn't expect to see louis ever. he never wanted to see him again.

**____ **

they stare at each other for a second before louis clears his throat and says monotonously, "so, uh, this interview is a competition between the interns. they all spend thirty minutes interviewing you then later on they will write out their analysis and then i will judge and the best intern stays and gets their writing published. i will be over seeing everything to make sure none of the interns over step with questions."

**____ **

"why didn't i know this was going to be a competition? and, uh, why didn't i know you would be here, louis?"

**____ **

louis frowns and shrugs, "i don't know. i figured your assistant would have provided you with all the information. and harry, this interview is purely professional. i try not to involve my personal life with my job and this situation is no different."

**____ **

harry opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. his chest hurts. how could louis sound so cold? louis is the one that left harry, harry should be the cold and bitter one. harry just nods defeated.

**____ **

an hour and a half passes with normal questions. harry can't help but wonder what they are teaching these interns, the questions they are asking are too safe. what they are asking they could find on the internet in a mater of seconds.

**____ **

the last intern is up, a young man who introduces himself as jeramia.

**____ **

"so what made you become a model?" he asks straight away, he has his thumb pressed town on a recorder and he looks at harry with interest. harry isn't sure if the interest in his eyes is practiced or legit. harry pretends it's legit.

**____ **

"i, uh, wanted to leave the town i was in and get a fresh start. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but then someone in a local coffee shop asked me to pose for an ad of theirs and i fell in love with it." harry says.

**____ **

"what did you find appealing in modeling?"

**____ **

"the praise i got was appealing. when i went into that first modeling gig i didn't go in fishing for compliments or anything, but people kept telling me i was gorgeous and talented." harry blushes, "i just liked the compliments and praise. it made me feel worthy."

**____ **

"so when you first became a model were you insecure?" jeremia asks, "remember you don't have to answer any of the questions if you don't want to."

**____ **

"yeah, i would say i was pretty insecure. i had just lost and pushed myself away from all of my friends when i first became a model. the only support i had was my mom and my sister and the first couple of months of trying to get by and trying to get people to notice me was hard. i kept getting declined and obviously i felt like i wasn't good enough. i never stopped trying though."

**____ **

"why had you pushed yourself away from your support system?"

**____ **

"clean slate." harry says glancing over to louis, "everything and everyone there was a reminder of someone that i would never have. everyday i spent in that town made me feel subpar, and i wanted to get out and do things and help people."

**____ **

"how, would you say, your job helps people?" the interviewer tilts his head a bit, like a confused dog.

**____ **

"uhm, i would like to say that it helps build confidence within young men. that it's not only women that model, but men too. i also try to defy social norms with what i model, so my clothing varies between masculine and feminine. i also wear makeup and carry clutches, things that a stereotypical male wouldn't do. so i hope it sends a message to those who feel like they don't fall within the norms that it's okay." harry explains.

**____ **

"as a kid, were you always as feminine and open to change as you are now?"

**____ **

"i feel like it's always been apart of me to want to defy those rules and expectations. but i never really started actually becoming true to myself until i had moved out of the house when i was seventeen."

**____ **

"why did you move out at such a young age?"

**____ **

harry shrugs, he liked the questions the boy was asking. these questions were more in depth and he seemed to already have every question planned out so he didn't waste time thinking of questions.

**____ **

"i've always craved independence. i studied two years at college before i left for london and in those years i stayed at a cheap apartment that i paid for by working at a bakery."

**____ **

jeremia continues to ask more questions and soon enough his time is up. all the interns leave and louis is right behind them. when they leave niall walks in and, finally, harry cries.

**____ **

it's a cry that harry has been holding in for a while, four years probably. he never thought that he would see louis again, and when he did all those things he felt about louis, all the feelings he thought were left in the past, came rushing back. niall just sits on the bean bag chair and holds harry until the tears stop.

**____ **

"you fucker." harry mutters at niall, then says louder, "why didn't you tell me louis was going to be here? i wouldn't have done this if i knew!"

**____ **

niall pulls back a little and frowns at harry, "i didn't know i swear. i saw louis as the interviewer and i knew it would be a competition but i didn't know it was your louis."

**____ **

harry sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "he was so cold towards me, ni."

**____ **

"i'm sorry." niall says, "seriously if i had known i wouldn't have let you come."

**____ **

they sit in silence for a second before louis stumbles in, "i, uh, forgot my notes."

**____ **

he walks to the desk in the corner and grabs the folder and phone that was laying there. he stands there for a second staring at harry before shaking his head and walking towards the door. 

**____ **

"you know, you're a right dick, man." niall says before louis leaves the room, "he was your friend for years and you just leave him! from what i know, harry was a mess after you left and, now after years and years, you won't even say anything to him."

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louis sighs but turns around to look at niall before he coldly says, "look, you don't know everything so why don't you fuck off."

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niall growls and his hands turn to fist at his sides.

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"you don't have to be mean." harry speaks up quietly, "niall knows what i know so if we don't know everything why don't you tell us?"

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louis sighs, "i didn't want to keep making you sad. you wouldn't move on and date people if you were still in love with me so i left. that's it. i guess you guys do know everything."

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"you were fucking selfish to do that and make that decision without talking to me." harry says standing up, "just so fucking selfish."

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"i know harry!" louis exclaims, "i spent months hating myself for leaving you."

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"well i spent _years _hating myself because you left me!" harry yells, "i spent years wondering why i wasn't worth it for you! wondering how i could fix myself to be someone that you wanted. i couldn't even stay at my house anymore because everything there reminds me of you and you made me _miserable _."____

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"i'm sorry." louis says, "i am. i don't know what i can do to make up for it."

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"become my friend again." harry replies with plead in his voice, "all i'm asking for is friendship. i need you in my life."

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niall makes a small noise. but doesn't say anything.

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louis looks reluctant but says, "we can get dinner tomorrow or something."

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"how about tonight?" niall says, "tomorrow night he's having dinner with our boss."

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"i'm having dinner with, uh, zayn and liam tonight so..." louis says, "uh, you guys can come with?"

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"zayn and liam." harry breaths, "they live here?"

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louis nods, "yeah, i try to hang out with them once a week. uh, they have a kid together."

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harrys eyes tear up, "i, uh, would they mind if niall and i tagged along?"

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louis shakes his head, "no, no they won't mind. um, i have to go, but here's my number. i will text you the address, we usually have dinner at around seven. it's just going to be at their house."

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**_______ _ _ _ **

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-  
**monday night  
july 14th, 2017 ******

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"niall i can't do this." harry says running his fingers through his hair, "i left them. just like louis did to me. they have a kid now, fuck. they are gonna hate me."

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niall grabs harry's hand and pulls him out of the car saying, "they won't hate you. they might not like you, but all you can do is ask for their forgiveness, yeah?"

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harry nods, he grips niall's hand tightly and lets him lead harry to the front door.

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liam and zayn were there for harry when louis left; they were there when harry locked himself in his room for 48 hours straight, they were there when harry passed out because he hadn't eaten in a week, they were there for harry and harry had just left them. harry knows that he should have at least promised to stay in contact with them, but even they were a reminder of louis and harry had vowed to cut any reminder of louis from his life. even two of his best friends.

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niall knocks on the door gently and let's go of harrys hand after giving it another reassuring squeeze.

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louis opens the door and harry's heart still isn't used to it because his breath gets knocked out of his chest.

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"uh, come in." louis says, he has a small smile on his face. he looks uncomfortable.

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niall walks in without hesitation but harry stands by the door for a second or two, trying to get himself together.

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"are you coming in?" louis says gently, standing by the opened door.

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harry nods and walks through the door, he scratches at his hand in nervousness and almost cries at the sight before him.

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zayn and liam live in a beautiful house. they are both sitting at a wooden table and zayn is feeding a baby. liam is introducing himself to niall. louis goes to sit beside the kid and makes a funny face at him. zayn hands louis the spoon and stands up to introduce himself to niall as well then zayn and liam walk towards harry.

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harry is just standing there, his hand scratching at his wrist and once he notices the other two boys looking at him he looks down.

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"harry." liam says gently, forcing harry to look up at him. liam grins and gives harry a hug and harry breaks down crying.

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"i'm so sorry." harry croaks, "i'm so so sorry."

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"it's okay, haz." zayn says beside him, "well it's not okay but liam and i forgive you."

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harry nods and hugs zayn as well.

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niall clears his throat and says, to relive tension with some comic relief, "okay enough of this i want spaghetti."

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**_____******** _ _ _ _ _ **

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	4. Chapter 4

**monday night  
july 14th, 2017 ******

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"so, uh, when did you guys move here?" harry asks zayn and liam.

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"about a year and a half ago, i think. liam opened a tattoo shop in london and it started getting big so we decided to open one here in new york too. we have to go back to london a couple of times a year to make sure everything is good." zayn says, "where do you live now?"

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"i'm traveling most of the time. but i have a house in california that i stay at when i can; niall lives with me." harry says, "it's right on the beach sometimes i feed the seagulls in the morning."

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louis laughs a little and says, "i can imagine you just waking up, getting a cup of coffee, and throwing bread out to the birds."

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harry smiles a little but doesn't say anything.

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"how's your mom?" louis asks, "and gemma?"

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harry shrugs, "good. gemma is writing a book and mom is being mom. she hangs out with your mom a lot now that both gemma and i are out of town. i'm sure you know that though."

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louis nods.

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"so do you have a boyfriend? or girlfriend?" liam asks.

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harry shakes his head, "not currently. i mean i had a couple small flings but nothing important."

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"yeah," liam says, "well, louis here is the same way. you've been in, like, four relationships in the last three years, right louis?"

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louis groans a little, "i don't think we should talk about this, li."

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niall shifts uncomfortably, "i agree. this can't lead t-"

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"actually, i think i'm quite interested in louis escapades." harry interrupts, because apparently he wants to create a shit show while also tearing his heart out of his chest.

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"so i uh dated, uhm, hannah for a couple months and it just didn't go anywhere so we broke it off. then i dated kristen but that was mostly sex rather than an actual relationship. and, i, uh, dated josh. he was nice but he-"

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"you dated a man." harry says, he mentally tells himself not to be upset. he asked to be friends with louis. he asked for all of this. harry thinks to himself, _but louis was straight. louis left me because he couldn't love him. because i'm a man. so if that isn't true and louis was willing to date a man then why didn't he date me? it must be because i wasn't good enough for him. i must not have been what he was looking for. _that hurts more than rejection because of sexuality.__

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louis nods, but the table is suddenly silent and tense.

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harry clears his throat and stands up, "i, uh, actually think coming here was a mistake. so, uhm, it was good seeing you guys again." harry says to liam and zayn, "your son is amazing. i wish you all the best life possible."

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"haz." niall says standing up, "haz don't do this."

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tears well up in harry's eyes and he shakes his head, he says tightly, "i'll be in the car, ni."

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harry doesn't wait for niall's reply, as selfish as it sounds harry already knows that niall is saying goodbye to everyone. harry is niall's best friend just as much as niall is harry's best friend and niall wouldn't stay if he knew harry was upset.

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harry doesn't even get into the car before he starts full blown sobbing; it's been four fucking years and harry has a good life but he still doesn't have louis. all harry ever wanted was louis and now he realizes that he might have had a chance with him. _maybe i wasn't pretty enough for him? was i too uptight? ___

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harry jumps when niall opens the drivers side door. niall saw harry crying in the passenger seat, harry wasn't fit to drive anyways.

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they just drive to the hotel in silence.

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usually harry sleeps in his own hotel room in his own bed. but there are times when harry needs company or when niall needs company or when one of them is going through a hard time and they sleep together.

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usually it's harry that needs the company not the other way around. niall is so happy and in the clouds that literally nothing can bring him down. harry has only seen niall cry, like, four times. two of the times he was completely, shit-faced drunk, another time he had hit an animal while driving, and there was also when his girlfriend of seven months broke up with him.

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niall, however, has seen harry cry more times than he can even count. harry has always been an emotional person and he had no problem expressing his emotions. harry cries at least once a week, mostly because he is stressed, but sometimes he isn't even sad and he just has an urge to cry.

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tonight obviously isn't one of those times. harry has a reason to cry, but he isn't sure if it is a reasonable reason.

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when harry and niall get to the hotel room harry takes his clothes off and immediately jumps into the shower. he lets the hot (almost scolding) water pelt against his back and he starts to sob again and _could he be even more pathetic? ___

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harry does what an adviser told him to when he is in a situation where he is this upset. he asks himself _why am i upset? and what can i do to make myself feel better? ___

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harry shakily runs shampoo through his hair and tries to answer the questions.

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he's upset because louis actually likes boys. after all the time harry spent trying to convince himself that he never had a chance with louis because he was straight harry finds out that louis is actually not straight.

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what can harry do to make himself feel better? usually crying helps but harry has been crying for around twenty minutes and all he feels is an ache in his chest. cuddles help, and talking about his feelings help, so harry decides to get that from niall.

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harry gets out of the shower in a mater of ten minutes and gets dressed. niall is already in harry's bed in a pair of boxers. he must have went to his room and showered while harry was in the shower because he smells clean.

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harry gets in bed and leans his head on niall's shoulder. he cuddles under the blanket and lets niall play with his curls.

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"zayn and liam are very nice." niall says, "even louis is nice, but i'm upset at him for breaking your heart."

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harry doesn't say anything so niall keeps talking.

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"i got all their numbers, in case you wanted to talk to them again." niall pauses, "i think you should talk to them, haz, clear the air and become friends again. i can feel that you belong with them, as their friends. you don't even have to be friends with louis, but I think you should patch things up with zayn and liam."

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harry sighs and nods, "louis isn't straight niall."

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niall nods, "that's why your upset."

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"all this time i told myself that he wasn't straight, that it didn't matter how much i loved him because he was straight. it was nice to have an excuse." harry sighs and pushes his head against niall's hand, "but, like, it turns out that it wasn't the fact that i was a boy that he didn't love me. it was just me, i guess, i just wasn't good enough. maybe i didn't fit his expectations."

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niall pinches harry softly. "you're literally perfect, haz."

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harry doesn't say anything, "i'm so in love with him. even now after, like, four years i'm in love with him. i thought it would go away but it hasn't because i saw him today and i just— why wasn't i good enough for him? we would have been perfect."

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niall just sighs, "sometimes people don't mesh, haz."

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niall, of course, doesn't bring up how he thinks something else is going on. because louis looked at harry like he meant something. liam and zayn shared knowing looks all night, and when harry walked out louis was crying. harry is already confused and niall doesn't want to make him more confused.

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harry nods and doesn't say anything for a few minutes but then asks, "so should i talk to liam and zayn again?"

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niall nods, "yeah. uh, i was actually thinking we could go check out liam's tattoo shop? maybe get you a new tattoo. you were wanting a new one anyways."

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harry smiles smally, "that sounds great. can you see if we can make a last minute appointment for tomorrow or something?"

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"it will have to be after your meetings and interviews and shit so it won't be until around five? that is if i change the dinner with simon to lunch." niall rambles, "i think i can make it work."

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"i love you, ni." harry says, "seriously you're the best."

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"i know." niall says he turns on his side and spoons harry, "now lets sleep. big day tomorrow."

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	5. Chapter 5

**tuesday  
july 15th, 2017 ******

********

"so," niall says as they walk out of the hotel to the car, "we have two interviews, the lunch with simon, and then you have to go approve of some photos for gucci. and while your at your interview i will call liam and ask about squeezing you in a spot. uh, how long do you think your tattoo will take?"

********

niall knows that harry never tells him his plans for his tattoos, so of course niall doesn't know how long the tattoo may take.

********

"I think it's gonna be pretty detailed. uhm maybe three hours?"

********

-

********

the day goes by quickly and without problems. the interviews were easy and in one of them he got to play a game with the fans. it was cute and harry enjoyed it. even the lunch with simon was unproblematic. it was basically a couple contract renewals and asking how everything is.

********

needless to say they are done with the day by four and are already heading to liam's tattoo shop early.

********

"should i bring them flowers or something?" harry asks, "as an apology?"

********

niall shakes his head, "i think a simple i'm sorry will be sufficient, haz."

********

"right." harry says, "i will just pop up in there with _'hey guys sorry that i was completely willing to walk out of your life again.' _i'm sure that will blow over well."__

****____ ** **

"maybe not quite like that."

****__** **

they don't say anything else and arrive at the shop only a couple minutes later.

****__** **

"i'm letting you do this on your own." niall says, "plus I have a couple of things to deal with. i will be back by seven. text me if you need anything."

****__** **

and then niall leaves him.

****__** **

_okay _. harry thinks, _i can do this. _____

****______ _ _ ** **

harry walks up to the door and pushes. the door doesn't budge and harry pouts and blushes in embarrassment before pulling on the door. liam is inside and staring as harry walks in. liam's trying not to smile so it leaves him with an awkward grimace.

****______ _ _ ** **

"i uh, have an appointment?" harry says still blushing.

****______ _ _ ** **

"i know." liam says with a small laugh, "what do you want?"

****______ _ _ ** **

"i want a rose." he says then points to an area beside his elbow, "right around here."

****______ _ _ ** **

liam nods, "uh, well we can go to the back? and zayn can draw it out for you?"

****______ _ _ ** **

harry nods and they walk to the back. zayn is already there doodling in a book. liam sits next to him and harry sits across from them.

****______ _ _ ** **

zayn starts drawing the rose when harry says, "i'm sorry about last night. i shouldn't have left you again i— i just didn't know what to do. i thought all of this was behind me."

****______ _ _ ** **

zayn looks up from the rose and says, "when you left the first time you left without saying goodbye. we were so scared that you had gone and killed yourself. we had to call your mom to know that you moved. we were your bloody best friends and you had gone and left us like we were nothing."

****______ _ _ ** **

_oh okay. they are getting right to it then. _harry thinks.__

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

liam nods his head in agreement. the air in the room groans thicker when liam says, "at least louis had the decency to call us when he moved away."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

wait. louis talked to zayn and liam when he left?

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i didn't know you guys still talked to louis when he left," harry says smally.

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"of course you didn't." zayn grits his teeth, the pencil he is drawing with us pushed harder onto the paper, "how the hell were we supposed to tell you? when he left you didn't talk for week. and when you started talking you went out to bars and got so blindly drunk you would blackout and wake up on park benches and in barns with the cows. li and i had to pick you up and deal with you. we didn't want to tell you that we talked to him and have it be counterproductive."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"it was hard on all of us, harry." liam says, "and i get that you were in love with him but the way you reacted was too much because we had lost our best friend too, then just months later you leave too, except it's worse because we had no clue where you went."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry rubs at his eyes, "i'm sorry. i really am. i know i can't, like, change how i ran away or anything but i would really like to be your friends again."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

zayn and liam look at each other and give a small nods before liam says, "like i said last night. we forgive you."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

—

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

the rose tattoo takes two hours and by the time they get done harry, zayn, and liam have already made dinner plans at their house.

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"we have to take care of bear." zayn says, "our sitter usually doesn't stay late at night. she leaves around six. i only work a couple times a week so i can take care of him."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i always knew you guys would be great dads." harry says, "its nice to see that you guys have a family and are happy and all."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

zayn nods and grins, "yeah it's great." then he pauses, "what about you? are you happy and all?"

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry nods, "i really am. i have some great friends— i seriously don't know where i would be without niall and cara— and i love my job. i feel like modeling is what i was always meant to do, ya know?"

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

zayn doesn't say anything for a minute. liam is in the kitchen making food and niall, bless him, is taking a nap at the hotel. niall texted harry a while back and told him that he was beat and that he was going to bed and to call james if he needed a ride back. james is, like, nialls assistant.

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"louis really isn't a terrible person." zayn says suddenly, he talks slowly and carefully because he knows he's opening up a can on beans, "the way he left you was shit but he got an opportunity to write for a high end magazine. it was his dream job and sure, he could have told you before hand that he was leaving but he was scared. you were his best mate, you guys were going through a thing too. he just didn't know what to do."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry nods, "i'm not mad at him, really. i'm just sad, i think, that he didn't trust me enough to tell me. and sad that i wasn't good enough for him to love me as more than a friend."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

liam grumbles about something in the kitchen and bear, that cutie, crawls out from the kitchen and into the living room.

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"zayn!" liam calls, "watch him please."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

zayn gets off the couch and goes to the other side of the room to pick bear up off the ground. zayn mumbles something to the kid about carpet burn before asking harry if he wants to hold bear.

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"uhm." harry says, with a small smile, "can i? you know how much i love babies."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

zayn nods and hands harry the kid before going back to sit on the couch, harry holds bear gently and rubs his cheek. bear babbles and squeals and laughs when harry makes funny faces toward him.

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

"you know louis did love you." zayn says casually, "like was proper in love with you. when you told him that you were in love with him he had just found out that he got the job. he didn't want to get in a relationship with you only to leave again. it fucked him up too, leaving you."

****________ _ _ _ _ ** **

everything stops for a second, _louis in love with him? _that can't be right, can it?__

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i didn't even know he liked boys." harry says slowly. bear in his lap starts to chill out a little. harry feels a tug on his shirt but ignores it.

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

zayn shakes his head, "he doesn't. he really only likes you. even after all these years louis couldn't keep a proper relationship because he always compared the people to you."

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harrys crying a little when he says, "why didn't he tell me?"

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i don't know man, but i don't think you should leave new york without talking to him."

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry nods and sighs, "i'm still so in love with him."

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i know, mate." zayn says, suddenly he grins and takes out his phone. harry is confused until he realizes that zayn is taking a picture of him and bear. bear had fallen asleep on harrys shoulder and is sucking on harrys shirt. harry grins at the camera than looks down at the baby.

****__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i can't wait until i get kids of my own." harry says softly.  
-  
**wednesday morning  
july 16, 2017 ******

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry, for some reason, ended up sleeping on zayn and liams couch, it's six in the morning when he gets a call from niall.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"uh," harry says into the phone, "hey."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

niall sounds just as tired, if not more tired, than harry when he replies, "hey, i have some important shit to discuss with you and you aren't in your hotel so i'm assuming your still at zayn sand liam's."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"yeah." harry says slowly, "uh, can you have someone come get me?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"actually i'm coming over their right now. with a change of clothes and a toothbrush." niall sighs, "i changed the schedule and you are staying for like two more days. i will tell you more when i get there i'm like five minutes away."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry begins to question niall but doesn't. he knows he won't get any questions answered so he just says a quick okay. harry try's not to feel rude and invasive when he begins to make tea and some eggs. liam gets up only a couple minutes later. it's refreshing and normal because liam always got up early.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"hey harry," liam says quietly, "what's up?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i'm making eggs and toast. uhm, niall is coming over, i hope you don't mind. he apparently is bringing me clothes and a toothbrush. he says he has something important to talk about and i'm staying even longer apparently." harry rambles, "do you still like your eggs over easy?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

liam nods, "over easy, yeah. and niall is nice he can come over whenever."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry nods and puts two eggs into the pan, "can you butter the toast?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

liam does as told and there's a soft knock on the front door, harry leaves the eggs for a second to open it.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

niall walks in, he has one of harrys large burberry tote in his hand. niall hands him the tote and walks to the kitchen, he takes a sip of harrys un-seeped tea and shudders a little. and beckons harry to sit in front of him.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"so," niall begins, "uh, i feel like you have some unresolved issues here, yeah?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry doesn't say anything. he finds that he's better off if he lets niall explain all his thoughts before he starts questioning motives.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"uh, so you have two days off work to fix everything." niall says, "also cara wants to hang out with you before you go. uhm but i texted louis. i told him that you would meet at that one park and that you guys should, like, talk about everything before you leave. i don't want you to go back to l.a. with regret."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"so you cancelled my flight for today?" he bites out of an apple that he took off the counter.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

niall nods, "yeah your flight home is saturday morning. but you should probably get dressed anyways, because you are meeting him in thirty minutes."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

fourty-five minutes later harry was sitting on a park bench. he hand his hands under his thighs because he couldn't get them to stop shaking and niall had left him to fend for himself after saying something along the lines of, "this is your shit to deal with not mine."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

someone sits down beside him on the bench and clears his throat. it doesn't take an expert to know who it is.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"hey," louis says softly.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry doesn't say anything but he looks up at louis desperate for him to start the conversation so harry can think of something, anything, to say to louis.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

louis doesn't waste anytime before saying, without hesitation, "so i'm in love with you."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

it was one thing coming out of zayn's mouth but hearing louis, himself, say it makes harry's heart clench. it's so much that harry cant bring himself to say anything. he is still looking at louis though, so louis knows he is listening.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i'm sorry for leaving and not telling you that. i'm so sor—"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

it's then when harry decides to speak. his voice cracks, and his hands are falling asleep under his thighs, and there are tears streaming down his cheeks, "you broke my fucking heart."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry is so, so angry. for over half of his life this is all harry wanted to hear. he wanted to hear that louis was in love with him, but now that he hears it harry wants to scream. harry waited for louis, he would have done anything for louis and louis couldn't even be honest.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

louis runs his fingers through his hair and sighs, "i know."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"you could have just told me. every time i saw you with someone else i cried myself to sleep. for years i wondered why i wasn't good enough for you. i would have changed everything about myself to mold into your life. if you had just told me. we could have been perfect."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

by now harry has a steady stream of tears running down his cheeks. louis eyebrows are squished together and he shuts his eyes trying to prevent his own tears from coming out.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i had such a hard time accepting myself, harry." louis says, "i didn't know i was in love with you until that day you confessed it to me. then when i left it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and left with you, but once i got on that plane it was too late to fix things. even now i feel empty without you and ever since you showed back up into my life three days ago i don't know what to do. i want you back in my life, harry, but i don't deserve you."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry sighs, "i don't know what to do either. louis, i dropped liam and zayn because seeing them reminded me of you, of the friendship all four of us had together. i barely go home anymore because my house, my own house, reminds me of all the times i would make cookies with you in my kitchen and all the shitty rap battles i would have with you in my bedroom. one day you were in my life and the next you weren't and i was broken and insecure. so what am i supposed to do now that i know i had a chance with you? after years of trying to figure out how to move forward without you, how am i supposed to backtrack?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

louis is silent for a minute, before he says, "can't we just start over?"

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"that shit never works." harry says, "no matter what, i will be reminded that you left me without a goodbye. i can't be with you if i hold that over your head."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

louis sobbing now. his breath are erratic and he can barely get out his next words, "if i could go back i would, but within these last few days i realized that my life without you in it wasn't a good life. and it's not a life that i want anymore. please let me try again with you. i won't screw up."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry stops for a minute. why was he resisting anyways? this is what he always wanted. louis may have left him but he came back. we all make mistakes and harry doesn't want to live his life without louis. harry would be damned if he didn't try for a relationship with him.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry slowly nods, "okay."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"okay?" louis asks hopefully. he rubs the tears off his face aggressively before looking harry in the eyes with more emotion than harry's ever seen in anyone.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"yeah. we'll start over. but i want a real relationship with you, don't half ass it. and we need to take it slow, i haven't been friends with you in years. i need to get to know you again."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

louis grins, and pounces into harry, pulling him into a hug. louis pulls away a little and says, "would it be too early to ask you for a kiss."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry blushes, "probably."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry kisses louis anyways. harry kisses louis so hard and with so much passion he feels like he might pass out. in fact harry isn't even sure he's breathing.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

they pull away from each other. only for louis to pull harry back in for another hug.

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

"i will do everything right this time harry." louis says genuinely, "i promise."

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

harry nods

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

**the end ******

****________******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** **

**Author's Note:**

> this story is also on my wattpad under a different name, lol hope no one thinks i plagiarized my own story.


End file.
